Joke
Quotes
<< Prev Next >>
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. . . .
So I had to buy them again.
So I had to buy them again.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.
You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
I just installed a skylight in my apartment.
The people who live above me are furious!
The people who live above me are furious!
I'm writing a book.
I have the page numbers down. . . .
I just have to fill in the rest.
I have the page numbers down. . . .
I just have to fill in the rest.
I saw a sign: 'Rest Area 25 Miles'.
That's pretty big.
Some people must be really tired.
That's pretty big.
Some people must be really tired.
I got a new shadow.
I had to get rid of the other one.
It wasn't doing what I was doing.
I had to get rid of the other one.
It wasn't doing what I was doing.
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint.
It was in the shape of a house.
It was in the shape of a house.
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck,
but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth.
On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.'
On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.'
Search
On Anger: "For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind."
Essays
Essays
On Destiny: "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today."
Human, All Too Human
Human, All Too Human
On Friendship: "A crowd is not company; and faces are but a gallery of pictures; and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love."
Essays
Essays