Joke
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.
The mime next door went nuts.
I took a course in speed waiting.
Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
I named my dog 'Stay' . . . so I can say,
'Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.'
'Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.'
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is;
it's always room-temperature.
it's always room-temperature.
I rented a lottery ticket.
I won a million dollars.
But I had to give it back.
I won a million dollars.
But I had to give it back.
Ever notice how irons have a setting for 'permanent' press? I don't get it . . .
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's.
The clerk said, 'ten-four.'
The clerk said, 'ten-four.'
I was walking down the street wearing glasses
when suddenly the prescription ran out.
when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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On Anger: "For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind."
Essays
Essays
On Destiny: "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today."
Human, All Too Human
Human, All Too Human
On Friendship: "A crowd is not company; and faces are but a gallery of pictures; and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love."
Essays
Essays