Steven Wright
United States
Born on 6 Dec 1955
Comedian
Born on 6 Dec 1955
Comedian
A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so fast?'
I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator.
When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine.
The whole car just takes right off.
And see this thing? This steers it.'
.
I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator.
When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine.
The whole car just takes right off.
And see this thing? This steers it.'
.
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On Anger: "For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind."
Essays
Essays
On Destiny: "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today."
Human, All Too Human
Human, All Too Human
On Friendship: "A crowd is not company; and faces are but a gallery of pictures; and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love."
Essays
Essays