Steven Wright
United States
Born on 6 Dec 1955
Comedian
Born on 6 Dec 1955
Comedian
Quotes
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If you're not part of the solution,
you're part of the precipitate.
you're part of the precipitate.
I was reading the dictionary.
I thought it was a poem about everything.
I thought it was a poem about everything.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I went to a garage sale.
'How much for the garage?'
'It's not for sale.'
'How much for the garage?'
'It's not for sale.'
If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro,'
then what is the opposite of progress?
then what is the opposite of progress?
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,'
but I don't have that much time.
but I don't have that much time.
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there.
Why is it a penny for your thoughts,
but you have to put your two-cents in.
but you have to put your two-cents in.
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it.
Now I don't know what to feed it.
I went to a general store.
They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
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On Anger: "For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind."
Essays
Essays
On Destiny: "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today."
Human, All Too Human
Human, All Too Human
On Friendship: "A crowd is not company; and faces are but a gallery of pictures; and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love."
Essays
Essays